Off
by Mishi100
Summary: Something was off, he told himself. Something was off and the demon in front of him told him, assured him, that he was going to pay the consequences. Spoilers for YJ:S3 - Episode 21.


**Summary: ****_Something was off, _he told himself. _Something was off and the demon in front of him told him, assured him, that he was going to pay the consequences. _****Spoilers for YJ:S3 - Episode 21.**

In hindsight, this was a bad idea. A really, really bad idea.

_How could you be so stupid?_ a small voice asked him from the back of his mind. No, it wasn't Babs, the signal was switched off and he knew it. The only sound he could hear was that of his soft heart's rythym in tune with his soft thoughts ostracizing themselves from his reckless side, the side that's going to get _(another) _someone killed one day.

_Something was off, _he told himself. _Something was off and the demon in front of him told him, assured him, that he was going to pay the consequences._

And then the Light turned on.

At the small grace of silence, he only knew he was walking on glass—glass that read "_your actions will jeopardize the League's already jeopardized reputation."_

But this glass also had land mines etched into the makings of its molecular structure. Land mines planted by adults playing a children's game, children playing an adults' game, and he couldn't understand what he could and couldn't do for either of them anymore. He was walking on a very thin sheet of glass and land mines, between vigilante and whatever line he's crossing, and he was

**O̸B̶E̸Y̷**

trying not to feel engulfed in happiness with it. He could've sworn he had something important to do—_and now he does_, this was supposed to be a recon, an _illegal_ recon, yes, but that wasn't important. He... he doesn't know where exactly he and Lightning's ended up, but all he's getting is a weird wave of happiness, and then-

**O̵͙̍B̵͕͖̯̙̮͍͈̿E̵͚̜͕̺̅̓̉̈Ý̵̙̂͗͘**

and then there's a weird wave of sorrow. And with Grayson Sorrow comes Grayson Memories and with Grayson Memories comes Graysons' Deaths and Jason's Death and Wally's Death and why does everything seem like it's suddenly falling?

**O̶̱̝̼͓̜̤͇͂̄̾͠B̴̠̝͉̋̽̾͋͑̈Ẽ̵͇̱̈̿̌͛̕͝Y̶̩̠̺͉͊́́̍̽̃̊̀͝**

_And then back to happiness-_

**Ö̷̩̰̳̰̥̻̫͉̳͖̀́̊̈́͂͒͒͋͗́͂͐̈́̾̐̚̕͝ͅB̸̢̺̦͔̅Ę̸̧̡̢̧̧̛̠͓̜̠͚̲̟̯͚̻̲̻̤̻͚͇̗̅̊̋̈̃̎́̿͌͜͝͝ͅÝ̴̧̨̗͖̟̜͓̦̲̹̤̩̖͉̳̟́͋͌́̐̉͑̓͜**

_Then sorrow-_

**O̶̢̮͖̩̞̫͋̅̑͌̑̔̊̌͂̂́͂̄͂̅̔̏̔̐̚͝͝͝͝B̷̡̗̘̹̬̻͚̯̮͙̮͎͎̱̫̣̜̹̥̜̤̳̀̅̏̉̒̾̚͜Ę̴̦̯̫͉̟͙͕̈́̂͜͜Y̷̡̢̪͔͖̠͓͍͓̙̯͓̹̯̞̞̹̙̆̀**

Back to happiness-

And back again and again and _oh God_ he's just so _tired_ right now. He can't feel a thing.

_He feels both twice as light and as heavy as he used to be, yet he barely whispered a word._

He still can't feel a thing.

_He feels exhausted from the incessant **enlightening** words ringing in his eardrums, yet he's still listening because he can't even hear his heartbeat anymore._

He's dying, yet at the same time, _living, and it __**h̴u̷r̶t̶s̵**__._

He's emotionally drained and he can't trust the thoughts in his head anymore. They're ricocheting all over the place. He feels a soft migraine coming up, in tune with the soft words rebounding in his mind. The soft words that promise bliss at submission, a merciful escape from his numbing senses, a quiet tune that won't change its coda.

So he listens—he listens and he waits, because

**M̵͖͑Y̴̡͓̔ ̷̤͎̖̅ C̵̘͖̯̍Ó̸̺͙͒̚M̷̢͑̽͂M̶͖̩̀A̴̺͑̿N̸̢̏͂͝Ḍ̶̩̀͂ ̸̘̄̓͊ I̷̻̍́͝S̴̖͔͈̚͠͠ ̸̡͎͙̂ D̶̪̬̘̀̋Ą̶̗͑̎̚R̴͓̃́ͅK̸̯̹̐̆̀Ş̷͚̓Ê̵̘I̶̛̯͝Ď̵͕̯̖'̴͖̆̂̎ͅŚ̸̡͛̋ ̸̟͇̯̓͂W̶͇͕̃̅Ì̶̮̑͝Ļ̴͙͂̇̈́L̷͉͎̃̆̂**

_Something was off, _he remembered telling himself. _Something was off, but now it's on, the demon assured him, and he waits._

* * *

**I'm deeply concerned about my boy, but about his portrayal in the fic itself... Well, to put it lightly, the whole fanfiction is a double meaning. Personally, I think random mood swings at the drop of a hat with repetitive subliminal messaging is a great way to brainwash someone, no? Anyways, Nightwing deserves all the love he can get after that episode... crossing my fingers Ric doesn't show up anytime soon, hehe (but seriously my poor boy needs some love).**


End file.
